I always wanna thank you guys for keeping your comments coming. I wasnt get able to update and blog hop cause of my Grand pa's death.
Everything that has happened was so fast. I told you before that he has recovered from illness and we are all optimistic that he will survive and get well in just a few weeks of healing. But last February 17, 2010 at 7:15 am (estimated) he passed away.
I am with his side when he was dying together with my mom and praying that God will be with him as he leaves his body. I am happy in where he is today. But he's memories are killing me, our house seems to have lots of left memories of papa lolo, the kitchen where he sits, our living room where he always seeks for boxing (pacquiao) my room where he soundly sleeps. I am always excited to go home before, but now, every time I'm in there, i always cry and cant forget the last smile of his last days, hes suffering on the last night of his life~everything. Hes clothes, hes smell. I regret that i burned the things he used, i should've keep them.
How to forget and move on because as another day passes? the feelings are getting worse and im missing him more. I need words to cheer me up, words of encourgement to stand up and fight the challenges of life.
I cant forget hes face in his coffin, he looks like only sleeping. he looks like Ferdinand Marcos, hes handsome, i want to hug my granpa right now---if only i could.
My eyes are just so tired of crying. I want to stop but i just cant. I need to pray. I am trying to move on, smile but those things are just so hard to do. The guardian of the family have already left.
I love you papa lolo. (breath in)
I remember what he said when my uncle died not just a year ago (April 2009):