It's the matter of choice!

While i am typing, there is a certain problem that is running to my mind. I told myself that i should not blog about this cause this is not worth the effort and words. Yet i end up here typing.
I know you know that i am busy in my studies. The main course is our "Sensor and Indicator project". My group mate and i fought because of this:

Scenario:

Me: (Typing for our activity, approached him) "Uy gawa tayo bukas, para matapos na yung sensor, aalis pa ko dahil may practice ako with maam ng 9AM.
CM:"Eh!, ayoko kaw nalang!"
Me.: (I ignored). After a while (motivating myself that i can still convince him). "Anu?ayaw mu?..........."
CM: "Pagod ako!".(with that face!)
Me: "Anu pagod ka?, eh kamusta naman ako!, 3 am nagising ako para gawin yung project!"
CM: "My report ako sa friday!"
Me: " Malamang ako may BULPRISA di'ba?, ACES, BLOG(school org)".
Then we started fighting until the end of the class. We are 4 in the group. The girl member is for our docu. The other member, i donno if he is lazy or what, but we also fought yesterday cause of the project reason too. And him----ang natatangi kong katuwang said "I Don't like it and I'm tired". We suppose to pass the project today but our prof extend it until tomorrow. We are 85% done. Yet my coach said that we will going to have a practice tomorrow. So i have to make everything finish. My BFF/EFF told me that:

 "Hindi kasi ikaw yung tipong follower lang sa group, leader material ka talaga. Kahit isang tingin lang sayo hindi ikaw yung tipong tagasunod".


Well i am tired. I don't like to be a Leader-Material. Can i sometimes say No. Maybe my decision to ignore our project (all though i am sorry) i have to stand this cause it's a way of teaching them that sometimes i get tired too. Compare to any other students i am not a normal one. I don't know why end up like this. I don't like this and i didn't asked. It's tiring and stressful. I was elected as the president of our organization at school. I was dreaming about this before---becoming the president, but as i journey in the previous years of my college life i learned that being a leader is not and definitely ain't easy.

My classmates avoid me. My other group mate said that "tama nga sila WTF ka". That sinked to my mind. We were grouping ourselves for thesis and our class had an open forum. I heared that most of them don't like me maybe because as my BFF/Eff again told me that i am "semi-perfectionist" and a fortune teller told me that i am a "Dictator".

I'll just want to clear myself. I dictate people for a better outcome. I don't dictate them for my own good. I am perfecting mistakes for an excellence. I perfect everything for the higher perspectives. I don't do things without analyzing and think for the majority's best.

I also learned a quote from our school------Excellence in every Execution. So am i. I give everything in what i do. I do everything to give everything. I don't know if i am the wrong here or not. I also listen to them. If they say "I'm tired", I listen it's because i see their sacrifices---and i ask  help because i also sacrifice and i wonder if they see mine. I am an organize person. I don't want everything to rush. Ayokong maging kagaya sa ibang group na kung kelan ang araw ng pasahan ang araw ng paggawa. Daig ng maagap ang masipag at matalino.

I want to explain myself more. I want to say more. But hindi kasya sa blog ko ang mga gusto kong sabihin. Well, at least i am thankful that i have a blog that helps me release my emotions.

If you think I'm wrong here then Say it, so i can change myself. I need to realize things. I just simply don't know kung anu ang role ko sa istoryang to. Ako ba ang protagonist o antagonist. T.T

stevevhan

9 comments:

  1. duh ? wala syang konsiderasyon. reasons! hmp. nakuu! baka my pinagkakaabalahan rin sya, pero duh ? gropmates kayo. dapt one team. hmp. nag salita ang tamad. hehe >.< anyways, I'm not in a province. i live in city too. hihi, It's just that, I misses the people there and my friends. like, sila lang ung nakak intindi ng takbo ng utak ko at nararamdaman ko. though, I'm still adjusting here >.<

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awwwww... I know how it feels. napagdaan ko netong prelim lang... at mukang pagdadaanan ko pa habang ka-grupo ko sila. same situation as yours... i am usually the type who tell them what to do. pero para sakin kasi... hindi ko naman iuutos un kung alam kung may INITIATIVE silang gumalaw. eh kaso wala... so anong gagawin ko? hayaan kong walang mangyari sa project namin? sympre grades ko rin affected dun kaya ko inaassign mga task na gagawin nila. hindi ko ma-feel na GRUPO kami... daming excuses nila kesyo ganto, kesyo ganyan kaya hindi nakakapag comply sa mga tasks. pero di ba... wala lang. if you really wanna do something so bad, you'll look for ways? eh kaso parang mga ka-grupo mo rin... hindi gagalaw kung hindi uutusan. i feel bad about your thesis groupings... parang ang OA naman yata nila? me...i'd rather group with people whom i know are perfectionist coz i already have an assurance that I WILL NOT WORK ALONE. so un...

    piece of advice... tell them what you feel. baka maintindihan ka nila at para matapos na rin ung project kung hindi pa tapos. ayon. easy lang ah.. kaya natin to! :p

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  3. Terrible! I mean, they will also benefit if you finished your project.

    Situations like the one you have made me decide to do assignments and projects alone. I mean, if there is a group project, I always ask the teacher if he/she will allow me to do it alone. I do not want to deal with lazy classmates. They just waste time and energy.

    So you are a dictator? Haha...we are the same eh? That is alright. Listen to what people around you says. Maybe you have to tone down your dictator self. Always remember that people around you see something about you that you can't see. Whatever they see have some grain of truth in it. Contemplate about your situation and make the necessary changes.

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  4. Bulakenyo...musta na? hehe tnx sa pagbisita sa blog ko... add kita sa link ko, alin ba sa 2 blog mo ang mas okay ito o yung thesis?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well, I understand what you feel. Meron talagang mga tao na iba ang takbo ng utak kaysa sayo. Mga taong tamad-tamaran or sadyang walang paki-alam sa maaaring mangyari sa project nyo.

    Being the leader is a tedious job too. Mahirap pero fulfilling naman. Wag mong pakinggan kung anu ang sinasabi ng iba. Hayaan mo sila. As long as you believe na wala ka naman ginagawang masama sa mga decisions mo, the so be it!

    Maaari yan maihalintulad sa quote ni Spider Man:
    "Great power, comes with great responsibility"

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  6. Naww, sorry about that. I think that it's nice that you're concerned about your acads. That groupmate is sure one freeloader.

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  7. eeh wala ata talaga concern yung isa groupmate mo.
    tsssk. hindi bale kung siya lang babagsak, di ba?
    kaya minsan mas maganda kapag individual nalang ehh.
    group work, okay lang yan kung lahat makikipag-participate.

    anyway, ganun ka kasi. wala namang masama dun.
    gusto mo lang okay lahat, di ba?
    kahit naman ano gawin mo may sasabihin at sasabihin pa rin ang ibang tao.

    better don't mind them nalang.

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  8. yan maganda sa blog, eh
    lahat pwede mong sabihin
    pero syempre subject to limitations din
    easy ka lang
    don't let your emotions get the better of you
    =)

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  9. I can so relate with you. Kasi nagkaproblems rin ako with groupworks dati.

    Remember, being a leader does not equate to DOING EVERYTHING. It's about leading other people to get the job done, it's about delegating, and making sure everyone is efficient.

    To let you in on a secret, I like being the leader because that means all I'm gonna have to do is organize and mag-utos. But that doesn't mean I don't do anything, mahirap kaya magorganize. And then you have to help all aspects of the projects all the way. PAg may palpak it's your sole responsibility.

    What you can do here, para maresolve etong problema mo, or ma avoid mo maulit yan, ASSIGN ROLES sa bawat group member. So kunwari sa lahat ng area na yan, siya bahala, at ikaw dito. Ayun ung main responsibility nila. Make the division of work fair and everyone should agree on it, para wala ng lusot pag nagdahilan sila. Trabaho nila yan eh.
    If they fail to finish their job, then it's time to tell your mentor/prof about the poor performance of your thesismate, then you can deduct grades from him/her.

    Hope I helped!

    ReplyDelete

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