It's been years. I am single. The loneliest nights and days are killing me now. I was stupid. I was in love in two people at the same time. I have no choice to choose. Well i said to one of them " I am not ready yet. Maybe after graduation....i will pursue you" what the hell, i'm the guy yet im the one who refuses to say yes!ahahahha(gwapo eh no?).
Maybe now i had a karma. I think i have found the right one, i'm ready and i'm pursuing her. We met for so many instances. I have never knew someone like her before. We have lots of things in common. Before the sem ends, we already started texting and calling. Then after a week there's no communication at all.
At the day of starting of the classes in our school library. Break. Im sitting. I was wondering if she had enrolled already. I called her mobile. No answer. Cannot be reached. I called her other number. Her mother answered. Said " she's not here, she's in manila, fixing papers, maybe she'll come back here on Friday".
When i got home: I called her number. It's ringing. I was glad. She picked it up. I said
" What happened? we had no communication in the past weeks, what you' re up to?, what was your mother saying that you're fixing papers?. Are you going abroad?"
"um, no, haha"
"Um, getting married?with whom?"
"ahahahahahaha, of course not!"
"I called you earlier. You're not picking up. Why?"
"There's no signal here. Wait, i'm choppy, i'll look for a signal"
"And what's up with you?tell me what are you fixing?"
"ahahaha, i'll tell you when i come back there. If this is sure, i'll give you the details"
"OK. but enroll yourself on Friday ok?ahahahaha, I miss you i think:)"
"Kaw din, lalo na, nasa manila ka, nagaayos ka pa ng papers"
"ge, ingat, ingat!:)"
It's Friday night. I missed call. She missed call. I dialed again. She answered. I said:
"Miniskol mo ko?"
"yap, you missed call me"
"Have you gone home?"
"ahahahaha, i dont think i'm coming back home"
"ahahaha, Kidding. I'll maybe go home tommorow, i'm still not done here yet"
"Ok, You take care."
"Oh, you take care too:)"
We texted the other day. After that, no communication until this very moment that i am typing, I am still clueless on what's up with her. Were friends. She told me everything about her that she didn't told those stories to other. We planned dates, a series, after graduation. Even going to our province and she's very much excited about it.
Before the start of this post i asked here classmate:
" where's she?"
"Um, she's not going to study anymore"In my head I was like "what?, i ...."
"Siguro may gusto ka dun, lagi mong hinahanap eh!"I just smiled.
I'll maybe contact her. Earlier after the class. I wondered. I Realized that love and having someone is worth having than success. Whom will i share these success?with myself?with friends?It's not enough. In life there's really a time and point that you're just simply tired of being alone. I maybe dont know that i am afraid to love again, and i just say, "after my goals in career, there's a room for someone now", but maybe the truth is i am just afraid to happen in repeat from the past.
I went to plaridel last night. When i'm on my way home. I heard the corrs' song All the love in the world. This song is me. Yes,
ayokong mapasama sa SMP!Samahan ng Malalamig ang Pasko but for over years now of my existence i am always present when the rollcalls happen in the assembly of SMP!
Quote: Beauty Queens are intimidating even if they have good character and adorable personally. She's a beauty queen.