The Lonely Hearts Club

The Lonely Hearts Club

“You need a boyfriend because you’re lonely”

Last week a 12 yr old said these words to me while we were having lunch at my house. So instead of completely defending myself and my apparent “need” for a boyfriend, I asked him questions.

Our conversation went something like this:me:
“What makes you think I need a boyfriend exactly?”
him: “Because you don’t have one, so you’re lonely”
me: “So you think that in order for me to not be lonely, I must have a boyfriend.”
him: “ya, exactly.”

So I broke it down for him. Real talk.

“I’m gonna tell you something, despite what the world thinks, I don’t need a man to fill my need of companionship. I’m actually not as lonely as you may think. Do you know why?”
“Because Jesus fills my needs, I need Him more than I need a boyfriend. Jesus is the one who satisfies me and keeps me from being lonely.”
“Oh… can I have more juice?”

Some days I completely believe those words I said to him, but some days it’s a little harder. I think that doubt and fear creep in our thoughts and what we know to be true and shake us a little bit. I’ve been taking this leadership class with my church and learning what it means to be emotionally and spiritually healthy and I’ve been learning just how easily those thoughts of doubt and fear creep into my mind about being single and Jesus satisfying all my needs.

I want Jesus to be one sole one who satisfies my heart.

Lonely Hearts Club

As badly as I want to be a wife and mom right now, I know that I have to trust the Lord and his timing, its a constant battle to fight for the things I know as truth, rather than the things of the enemy that creep in. It’s a battle, friends. 

You may be fighting this battle too, and I pray you seek out your needs to be filled in the One who fills them up to overflow. As I wait for the Lord and the best that he has for me, I’m trying to figure out what it looks like for me, right now, to be overwhelmed but amazingly content with what The Lord has for me right now. And what it looks like for Him to fully have my heart. 

I was reading Psalms recently, and in Psalm 145 David is talking about the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord. It was so encouraging!

“You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing.The Lord is righteous in all his way and faithful in all he does.The Lord is near to all who call on him to all who call on him in truth.”
 Psalm. 145:15-17

To everyone who is reading this and fighting the battle to seek out the one who will fill and satisfy their heart, you are not alone. I pray that this encourages you and pushes you more into the heart of God, that you worship while you wait for the Lord and his timing. I pray above all that as you read these few words I have written out, that you fall deeper in love with the one who created your heart.Thank you for reading.

And if no ones told you today, You’re amazing. And you are God’s favorite. 

Tia Adair

Tia is an American missionary of Youth With A Mission in Perth, Australia. She focuses in knowing God and making Him known in the Nations. For the readers: “Know that I am praying for each and everyone of you to encounter Jesus daily”

This Post Has 24 Comments

  1. What a silly kid! Hopefully they learn that loneliness is okay! It means you have more time to pursue hobbies, educate yourself, work towards a career. Having a boyfriend is wonderful but it's only a small portion of living 😉

    Simply Lovebirds

  2. True Kim, True! As long as you have Christ in your heart, that's always the key because you will learn to love yourself more in a way that you are not becoming more selfish but more of a selfless thing.

  3. Perfect. I can understand this one because it's an innocent comment from a child. And it could be that he's only saying things he's heard from adults and not because he knows what they mean.

    Sometimes when it comes from adults though, it's annoying. That's a great answer! Christ is enough.

  4. True, but the idea that if an adult would say this in front of your face esp today that our world give us so much standards, it's like, no way!

    It's just basically telling to yourself that "i dont need someone to complete me"and Tia's post realy captured me. This is all about self identification and sense of confidence about yourself.

  5. It's true that we shouldn't 'need' someone else to stop us from being lonely. In German a similar sentiment is called 'Torschlusspanik" – panic of the door closing. Meaning that people sometimes get really panicked about not being in a relationship yet or having kids yet or being married, that they make stupid decisions like marrying the wrong person, just so they don't miss their chance. I try not to worry too much about relationships and finding the right person – it'll happen when the time is right!!

    Kathrin —

  6. Kids speak what is natural. It is natural for a man or a woman to need a partner. Sometimes the things kids say can put the adult in a tight spot. Lol!

  7. A 12 year old.. Dang… 🙂 🙂 🙂 I guess everything in its right time and God will always show us the way 🙂 Cheers 🙂

  8. Great thoughts indeed and taking time to talk to the kid to see things from your own point of view. Greetings.

  9. Not to mention,you're happy with yourself being alone.

  10. You just hit the point there kath!

  11. true. People sometimes bring the best stress in us

  12. Kids say crazy yet curious things.
    Should have asked him how he's happy with no girlfriend.
    I learned you have to be happy and love yourself individually before you know what it's like to be happily in love. Not just in love.

  13. True, happiness shouldn't be define by anyone but just yourself and ofcourse, God.

  14. truth in the eyes of a child. 🙂 but some truths are relative, so theres a need for a little explaining.

  15. I absolutely agree with the whole not needing another person to feel lonely – I find it hard to be around people for extended periods of time as my battery dies down, so if I’m alone then I’m just recharging, no loneliness involved.

    Have a good week! 🙂

    Amy x Wandering Everywhere

    1. Same, I wish that Tia is reading this reply. I’m an Ambivert so i’m kinda needy and lonely. XD

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